Right and Wrong

I always thought that I would be a really good dad.  And I had visions of my children being the smartest, friendliest, most talented people in the world.  So as Elliott’s developmental delays became more apparent, it was easy to be in denial.  But the older he gets, the more I realize that there is nothing “wrong” with him.  He just goes about things differently, and along the way he helps me become a better parent.

 

 

For example—some parents worry about whether their kids will make friends with the right crowd; I worry about whether mine will have friends at all.  Some parents worry about whether their kids will learn bad words; I worry about whether mine will learn any words.  Some parents worry about whether their kids will be successful enough in school; I worry about whether mine will be able to finish school.  Some parents worry about whether their kids will be able to withstand negative influences from the world; I worry about whether mine will be aware enough to even be influenced.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  When we’re at a birthday party and Elliott doesn’t want to participate, I still get embarrassed.  When we’re at a friend’s house and Elliott is screaming, I still get angry.  But I am learning more and more that he really is a special little spirit—and that’s not just something we say to make ourselves feel better.

 

So, dear person at the park, or at the store, or at church, please keep your dirty looks and dirty comments to yourself.  I am fully aware of my child’s behavior.  Trust me.  But if you knew him like I know him, then you would know that he is alright.  In fact, he’s better than that—he is all right.
 

Brothers

I have such fond memories of my big brother taking care of me when we were little--cleaning our room, taking me on trips to Ameristop, bringing me souvenirs from his trips, etc. (and even though they dropped me on the cement and tried to push me into Niagra River, I have some fond memories of my sisters, too!)

Along with Elliott's syndrome comes some social awkwardness. It makes me sad to see him around kids his age because he just doesn't want to interact with them. And some people don't invite him to things because he can be so difficult. I have worried that Elijah would be the same way and that the two of them wouldn't get along. But then I see things like this, and it just warms my heart.

Thank goodness for brothers (and sisters)!

H2O

It all started with the faucet. Since Elliott has a problem with aspiration, he has always had thickened liquids--from the day he was born. So when he finally figured out that he could turn on the faucet by himself and get his own drink (with no thickener!), it was a big deal. If he went missing, we could usually find him hiding in the bathroom with the water on. And ever since then, the boy has loved water. Drinking, splashing, spraying, bathing, swimming--you name it. He just loves water.

For example, we learned that if Elliott was ever having a rough day, all we had to do was turn on the hose.  He would play with it for a long time. And it certainly made the summer go by faster.

Of course we had to buy a pass to the water park. And the giant water slide where you go on a raft with an adult? Yeah, I was sure that he would be terrified and avoid it all costs. Boy was I wrong. After about 20 times down the slide, I finally had to tear him away.

My birthday party during the hurricane? We couldn't keep him out of the rain. Some people tried to keep him dry, but I was just cracking up at how excited he was to be absolutely soaked.

Unfortunately, we had to put a stop to the bathroom adventures when Elliott flooded the bathroom. Twice.

But that doesn't mean he enjoys the water any less.

Trip to Myrtle Beach? Check.

Indoor water park? Check.

Bathtime ritual? Check.

 
Lucky for him, Elliott found someone who enjoys the water just as much.

Thank goodness for H2O!

Birthdays

The good thing about waiting three months between blog posts is that you can include all of your family's birthdays in one post.

Way back in June we celebrated Elliott's third birthday with an ocean-themed party.  We might have gone a little overboard (ha ha--get it?) with the food.

We had several activities for the kids to do, but Elliott was mostly excited about the food.

Oh yeah, and the sprayground.  Elliott and Elijah had a ton of fun playing in the water.

In July, Bridget threw me a surprise party. She created a whole story about how she had a meeting at the park, and I totally bought it. Little did she know that the party would take place during a HUGE thunderstorm.

The food was excellent--even if it was a little water-logged.

I don't know how much fun the adults had, but the kids sure had a great time. Especially Elliott. Man, that kid loves water.

All in all, it was a fabulous surprise. Even if it was during a hurricane.

A couple months later came Elijah's first birthday. His party was pretty simple, with a few other one-year-olds. Bridget did a great job of making a bumblebee party.
 

We spent way too much time making these little fondant bees, but we were pretty happy with the result.

And the judge? He seemed pretty excited about it. Although I must admit that we was more excited about using a fork than he was about his first taste of cake. He is certainly turning into Mr. Independent.

Luckily Elijah is nice enough to be content with just about anything. I think his new toys lasted about ten seconds before Elliott claimed them as his own.

Last but not least was Bridget's birthday. By this point, we were done with parties. So all Bridget got was a store-bought cupcake.

 

Just kidding. I invited a few friends over as a surprise (and I am still getting grief about having people over without cleaning the house!). I forgot to take pictures, but at least you can tell that Elijah had a good time:

(Don't worry--if you look closely, you can tell it was Martinelli's)

Did we miss anyone? I sure hope not!

What is wrong with this picture?

a) The windows are dirty

b) Elliott's bike has been left outside

c) Elijah is nine months old and standing like a pro

Maybe all of the above. But seriously, we never knew that Elijah could be so motivated. He was actually a little slow rolling over, which was just fine with us. But then he reached the nine-month mark and said to himself, "Hey, Elliott gets to run all over the place, so why can't I"? And that was the end of any concept of tranquility in the Nelson home.

Now, he insists on walking everywhere. He only crawls if he needs something right away. Otherwise, he is walking . . . and usually following Elliott around the house. He also gets very upset if the blinds are down and he can't see the backyard.

Honestly, though, we can't complain. He's pretty dang cute.

A Miracle

I would venture to guess that most people do not describe the bar exam as a spiritual experience.

And for me, the first one wasn't. I was just amused by the person next to me who was extremely upset that the bar examiners would not allow him to set up a shrine to Shakespeare during the exam. By the time I found out I had passed the exam, I had already started another year of school. And the results were so slow in coming that I had almost forgotten about the test.

But this time around--wow. When Elliott got a fever a few days before the test, I wasn't that worried. Elliott gets sick fairly frequently, and it usually doesn't bother me. So imagine my surprise when, the night before the bar exam, I feel myself getting a fever. And not just any fever--the crazy-high, fill-your-body-with-chills type. So I didn't sleep much at all that night. And the next morning I was having trouble standing up let alone concentrating. By the time the exam started, I was pretty freaked out.

But, somehow I completed two days of the exam. As luck would have it, I felt much better by the end of the second day. As the next few weeks went by, I really wondered if I had passed. Bridget was pretty sick of my whining.

And, yes, I did actually pass. I'm not exactly sure how, but I did. And it may not be the parting of the Red Sea, but in my mind it was definitely a miracle.

What We've Been Up To

February was a busy month!

Elijah has been keeping himself busy by saying incredibly wise things,

and refusing to roll over (even though he has already),


but spends most of his time giggling and trying to get some attention from anyone in the house.

Elliott has been mastering the skills of feeding himself . . .



. . . and enjoying the Fresh Beat Band. Seriously, we are so sick of that show. If you have not experienced it for yourself, consider yourself lucky. But just so you can get to know Elliott's best friends, here is a little taste.

As you can tell, Kip has been diligently studying for another bar exam. Stay tuned for a summary of that joyful experience.


Finally, Bridget has been trying to keep the boys under control . . .


. . . and subtly voicing her opinion through a novel medium.


All in all, it was a good month. Although we weren't a big fan of our visit from this little friend.